LGBT - Just found old emails from my ex?

We were together years she was my first love girlfriend & first time though she completely destroyed me lived a double life & ruined mine in the process. Even though we split early October I'm still hurting from the way she treated me,I do not love her anymore i hate her yet I do not think I could ever trust again. I just discovered mails on my Facebook from a male who was trying it on with me. She discovered them & reied viciously as well adms saying i "was the most amazing girl that even she didn't deserve". Etc. Why am I sat here crying & hurting over this? After all she's put me through?